Thanks to Gulfstream (and former Army) pilot, Bob Ozbolt, for text & video!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Carrier Landing
Thanks to Gulfstream (and former Army) pilot, Bob Ozbolt, for text & video!
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
March Book of the Month
of
Ulysses S. Grant
by
Ulysses Simpson Grant
(1822-1885)
“Man proposes and God disposes. There are but few important events in the affairs of men brought about by their own choice” and thus begins the Personal Memoirs of U. S. Grant.
His Memoirs have been widely recognized as the best, most noble, and most stately work set down by an American public figure. He did not write to defend his actions as General or President or to attack old enemies. He wrote what he experienced, what he did, why he did it, and has left the second-guessing to historians. Grant’s Memoirs are considered the gold standard; a model much revered but seldom emulated by current political figures.
A brief profile of Grant would include him as a Mayflower descendent, a West Point Graduate, the first General of the Army of the United States, and the 18th President serving two terms. The family was American for generations in all its branches, direct and collateral. His distinguished attributes and achievements involved a great deal of personal skill and talent as both a soldier and a politician. Grant had a take-charge personality formed during his early life in Georgetown, Ohio, where he remained until leaving for West Point in May 1839.
Upon entering West Point a military life had no charm for him and he did not expect to stay in the army; and, because of poor academic preparation he did not expect to graduate. During his first year General Scott visited West Point to review the troops and Grant noted in his Memoirs, “…I believe I did have a presentment for a moment that someday I should occupy his place on review….” Getting to that place was not easy as it has not been for those who have followed.
While reading Grant’s Memoirs one is constantly struck by the honesty he conveys to the reader. He states there must be many errors of omission because the subject is so large to be treated in such a way to do justice to all the soldiers engaged. In preparing the work for the public he, ”…entered upon the task with the sincere desire to avoid injustice to any one… other than the unavoidable injustice …where special mention is due….” All agree that he wrote without prejudice or harm to friend or foe.
One of only a few known photographs of Grant with a sword.
Grant was involved in two major conflicts during his Army career, the Mexican and the Civil Wars. It is just stunning to read the detail of these engagements written from his personal memory some years after their endings. The richness is mesmerizing; it is as if you are listening to him reciting a great and epic poem from an era gone by. The stories of the men, the engagements, the terrain, the causes, the bravery, and the responsibility are all vividly addressed.
The logistics needed to fight these Wars seem over whelming given the ease of modern day transportation. It is difficult to comprehend the movement of thousands of men and thousands of horses by river or through impenetrable swamps. The feel of early America and the wilderness of its land becomes a huge part of the story. About the politics of war Grant’s view was sometimes harsh and we still experience the same seemingly traitorous actions of individuals seeking personal or political gain at the expense of national security. War always creates an opportunity for commercial and political scoundrels.
It is particularly poignant to read the account leading to the surrender of Lee to Grant at Appomattox culminating April 9th, 1865. He separates the ‘purest romance’ of the surrender from the reality of two great Armies coming to peaceful terms and thus ending one of America’s bloodiest conflicts. When the news of the surrender reached the Union Army they began a ‘salute of a hundred guns’ in honor of the victory. However, when Grant heard of this he immediately had it stopped as “…the Confederates were now our prisoners and we did not want to exult their downfall.” One day the enemy, the next brothers-in-arms; they were once again valued citizens of The United States of America.
General Grant ends his Memoirs with a short section of Conclusions that are amazingly appropriate in today’s world. His explanation of the cause that led to the War of Rebellion against the United States is pointed and concise: slavery. Grant aptly explains that the complete absence of economic and personal freedom for some and guarantees of all such freedoms for others could not co-exist in this land of such great democratic hope. Our republican institutions had been largely regarded as experiments until the breaking of the rebellion. Other countries felt they would crumble at the slightest strain of internal strife. In all instances, since the end of that conflict, others who have doubted our economic or national political strength have met defeat.
Grant goes on to conclude that the War made us a nation of great power and intelligence. There would now be little to do but to preserve peace and prosperity at home, and the respect of other nations. He opines that our experience ought to teach us the necessity of the first; our power secures the latter. Our people had proven themselves to be the most formidable in war of any nationality; and, we were now truly a union extending from ocean to ocean. Grant felt the United States was entering the eve of a new era but that his illness would prevent him from being a living witness to his prophecy. General Grant died from throat cancer at age 63 one week after completing his Memoirs.
At the time of his death Grant and his family were destitute as he had lost his assets at the hand of a crooked business associate and there were no public pensions for ex-presidents. He was living on borrowed money from friends. Little known is that Mark Twain was a major player in the publication of The Personal Memoirs of Ulysses S. Grant offering him 75% of the sales as royalties. They were an instant success selling over 300,000 copies providing over $450,000 for his widow. Again, “Man proposes and God disposes” aptly describes the shaping of the broad character of General Grant’s life and his lasting impact upon our enduring national ethos of Duty, Honor, and Country.
Many C-133 crewmembers had relatives in the Civil War and this is must reading as it is written by their General of the Army or their foe those many long years ago. Also, go to his official web site (click on: Ulysses S. Grant Homepage ) for more details.
39th ATS , DAFB, 1962-1965
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Possible 133 for Travis Update
A bit more info to date. The discussions of a transfer of N199AB from Anchorage to Travis are "a bit premature" Nothing is firm. The museum has permission from the wing/base commander to investigate the possibility. So, there is a long way to go before such a move comes to fruition. Still, it is a bit exciting, just thinking of the possibility.
Keep us advised, Cal. There is a lot of interest even among Dover veterans. I'll bet some would like to be there and see the last landing........or even ride along!!!!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Book of the Month Series
Sneak Preview
From your Reviewer: Rick Spencer
While musing through the shelves in a dusty, old time, used bookstore in Key West this winter I was reminded once again of these extraordinary citizens who gave so much to ensure our destiny and way of life. So, I thought over the coming months I would highlight those that have shown remarkable strength of character and bravery in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. To give you an idea of my favorites I will begin with Grant, Pershing, Lincoln, Churchill, Washington, Eisenhower, Hamilton, etc., and hope that I receive some suggestions from crewmembers as well.
I believe that you will be quite surprised at the ordinary beginnings and personal accomplishments that came mostly from their strong belief in the values of Western Civilization. I also believe that you will be amazed to find that they had no idea and each would be the most surprised to find themselves thrust into a national emergency that carried the burden of the future of the country at rest upon his shoulders. Their successes suggest a lesson for the ages.
Each truly believed that the uniting of democratic values with the American people gave mankind its best hope. These men, as they risked all, became carriers of the Founders torch of individual freedom that allows us our lives, as we know it. I will attempt to adhere to the personal memoirs of each but not all have put their life to print.
COMING NEXT FOR THE MARCH BOOK OF THE MONTH:
Ulysses Simpson Grant
(1822-1885)
Friday, March 21, 2008
GE Engine for Boeing 777
Click on the Play button to activate. Suggest you turn up your sound, wait for it to load.....then run it straight through....
Travis to Get 133!
Hank:
According to Terry Jurand, there is much enthusiasm at Wing concerning the C-133. Terry said that if all goes well, the airplane will be flown from Alaska next July, with a stop in Seattle.
Terry has not yet talked to the Wing Operations Officer who would authorize the purchase of the fuel to get the airplane here, but I don't think that would be a problem.
Let's hope things keep moving.
John
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
American Flag Para Glider
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=iCz3BA-oNlY
Thanks to Ed Flanders for bringing this to us!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
62009
Friday, February 29, 2008
Geriatric Air Force
Now click on the following article from CNN, Washington: Generals Warn of "Geriatric Air Force."
Thomas P. M. Barnett, global strategist says,
"I know Maj. Gen. Paul Selva and he's a very good guy. The conversation he's trying to make happen has to occur in stages. This is the first stage: getting people aware of the force structure train wreck built into the plans right now. Simply unsustainable. Everyone inside the USAF knows this, many on the Hill do, but it's not yet a publicly acknowledged reality, so that's the first step.
Once that's realized, then the next conversation begins. General Selva is a smart man who understands the big picture well. The people around him are also trying very hard to make good things happen, but you have to tread lightly when you're sporting only two stars."
Monday, February 18, 2008
February Book of the Month
Author: W. B. Berry
Xlibris Corp 401 pgs Pub 2003
Being the citizen of a free country, especially America, amounts to a lifetime journey of civic responsibility and is played out in many different settings. Some examples that are immediately familiar are family, work, education, volunteering, and military duty. No Time For Fear chronicles the WWII experiences of B-25 pilot William B. Berry who ultimately became successful in all. Born February 27, 1919 in Fairmont, West Virginia, his story is that of a true American military hero who has led a remarkable life of untold bravery, great courage, and amazing strength of character.
People from West Virginia are always proud of their military heroes and there have been many throughout its history. High profile figures Chuck Yeager and Pete Everest, the first two pilots to break the sound barrier, come immediately to mind. But others, like William Berry came back to West Virginia to lead long, productive lives building a better community for their fellow citizens seemingly unfazed by their early experiences in ruthless combat.
Those of us from the FSHS Class of ’55 knew many as they were among our fathers, mothers, uncles, cousins, and neighbors. They were engaged in multiple fronts as WWII touched all of us in some way. I, for one, am always humbled when in the company of citizen soldiers like Mr. Berry who unselfishly gave so much of their life to ensure a better future for their progeny. It is a lesson for the ages.
Berry’s 145 day journey as a downed AAF pilot in the brutal northern Italian Alps began December 10, 1944. In fact, it began early in the morning before take off with a frightening premonition that he would be shot down during his mission to bomb the Brenner railroad. No time for Fear provides the reader with chilling details of survival when man is tested to his limits. One feels a part of the story as the author leads you through his daily struggles after exiting his crippled bomber to find himself in a situation so alien that few can imagine.
Lt. Berry, 25 years old, was shot down 250 miles behind enemy lines, parachuting onto a rock and snow covered mountainside while wearing only a jump suit, flight jacket, and his .45 caliber pistol. He was separated from his crew, suffering from intense cold and biting wind, without provisions, and a German Army already on the hunt for him and the other downed airmen. That truly is “no time for fear.”
After being rescued by a young Italian farm boy who led him over five mountain ranges during an all night trip in freezing winds and deep snow to a partisan encampment, Lt. Berry’s immediate desire was to return to U.S. lines through Yugoslavia. The story of failing that attempt and subsequently being invited into the Partisan and British Special Forces as a commander in his own right is simply stunning. He was then successful in molding his group of men into a most effective Partisan fighting brigade within a minimum time.
No Time for Fear recounts with authentic prose the life of Berry and his men in constant danger while carrying out acts of sabotage, espionage, and combat against an occupying German force. Intertwined are descriptions of daily activities in his Partisan encampment that needs to be fed, supplied with ammunition, and disciplined in order to remain a viable fighting force. In that regard, by the end of the War Lt. Berry was considered one of the best of all Partisan leaders. On May 12th, 1945, William B. Berry was awarded the Silver Star by the United States Army Air Corps for “…gallant devotion to duty reflecting great credit upon himself and the Armed Forces of the United States.”
The larger story in No Time for Fear is that of ordinary citizens from ordinary circumstances becoming fearless warriors in the defense of our Country. From all walks of life throughout our history such men have constantly risen to the occasion through their willing sacrifice. Berry and his cohorts from WWII are to be commended and revered for their military and civilian accomplishments. Many gave their last full measure of life in devotion to duty for the protection of all.
Lastly, William B. Berry’s compelling story is well worth reading as it has great implications for our citizenship during the present confrontation with worldwide terrorism. We are constantly made aware of the danger to our life of personal and economic freedom. The journey of that citizen warrior during WWII leaves us a better country as will the journey of those presently serving. They inspire through their courageous leadership and determination; and, our Nation is fortunate to have them.
Reviewed for FSHS Class of 1955 by
Richard L. Spencer, Ph.D.
Lt Col, USAF Ret.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ADDENDUM
Personal profile of William Bernard Berry
Mr. Berry was the second son of Hallie and Milton Berry, Fairmont, West Virginia.. His brother, Arthur, is now deceased. The family moved to Clarksburg, West Virginia in 1921. His father died in 1931 and by the time Mr. Berry was seventeen the family had moved seven times. During his teens he was employed at White’s Drug store working evenings six days a week. After graduating from High School in 1937 he began work with the Hope Natural Gas Company in Clarksburg. Through ICS studies he became a Class A civil engineer with Hope in 1941.
During thirty-six years with Hope and the Consolidated systems he held a number of management positions. Retiring in 1975 he formed his own independent oil and gas exploration and operating company drilling more than 550 wells.
Additionally, he served on the Clarksburg City council for eight years and served as president for several local and state organizations. On May 6, 1984, he was awarded the honorary degree, Doctor of Humane Letters by Salem College and in 1985 was elected Chairman of the Board of Trustees.
Mr. Berry served with the Air Corps for three years and was assigned to the 380 Bomb Squadron. He was awarded the Silver Star, Air Medal with two Bronze Leaf Clusters, EAME, Theatre Ribbon with three Bronze Stars, American Theatre Ribbon, WWII Victory Ribbon, and two Overseas Bars. He was discharged with the rank of Major.
Mr. and Mrs. Berry now spend their retirement between West Virginia and Florida.
There can be no argument but that William B. Berry’s life revolved about the highest level of civic responsibility to include family, work, education, volunteering, and military duty. He was successful in all.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
"Combat Citizenship"
Responses from the CNO and SAF/PAC gave the welcome information that such procedures already exist. SAF/PAC sent a copy of pages from the website of the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. They detail the expedited procedures under which a member of the military can become a citizen, even (and especially) in the AOR and also after leaving the service.
I encourage anyone who knows people in this situation to check the USCIS website at http://www.uscis.gov/. Go to Services and Benefits and look for the title Naturalization Information for Military Personnel. There are two pages that could be printed and sent to those who would benefit.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Don Coyle gone west
I will be happy to pass on any messages to the family. Just send them to firstfleet@aol.com and I'll bounce them to Colleen.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
C-133 Pilot & Author, Lou Martin
Send check to: Lt.Col. Louis J. Martin USAF (ret.), 13268 Huntington Ter., Apple Valley, MN. 55124. Tel: 952-891-1250 E-Mail: Pilotlou@aol.com.
Check out his bio and book reviews at: Close Encounters with the Pilot's Grim Reaper, and Wings over Persia.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
DE Crab Cake Feast
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
January Book of the Month
Reflections on War and International Order
Howard’s thesis is that the idea that a Society could be organized without war was something developed during the 18th century Enlightenment and ultimately became the accepted view of Western societies. Then, during the 19th and 20th centuries the philosophy of social Darwinism and its ensuing ideologies suggested conflict is inevitable; that one must either conquer or be conquered; and that fighting was necessary and desirable. That sense was further enhanced by the First World War and carried into WWII. Dominate or be dominated!
One of the most interesting arguments put forth by Howard relates to the Cold War and it is of particular interest to C-133 crew members as we played a part in it. We all viewed in wonderment during 1989 as the War came to a sudden and dramatic end with the demolition of the Berlin Wall by the inhabitants of East Germany. That act alone left no international doubt but that the West won. But, why without another catastrophic worldwide conflict as witnessed twice before in the 20th century?
Howard’s view is that the United States, as opposed to the Communist countries, could set the pace for rapidly evolving weapons technology at an acceptable cost to its national economy. But, the Soviet Union could only keep pace by starving its population and reversing any improvement they may have had in their standard of living. With the then new and developing era of information technology that was leading to greater military effectiveness it became clear to the Soviets that keeping the military balance was an unacceptable cost. The Communist system had not delivered upon the promises for its citizens while capitalism was flourishing throughout the free world. Communism then vanished as an alternative ideology to that of Western Democracy.
After the collapse of Communism many opined that the newly established world order would be forever peaceful. What could take its place to create another worldwide international conflict? Note that THE INVENTION OF PEACE was published in 2000. Howard’s last thoughts in his essay are, “…although it is tempting to believe …a new and stable world order will come into being, we would be unwise to expect anything of the kind.”
And, on September 11, 2001, came a direct attack upon our soil and we entered into a worldwide conflict against Islamic/Fascist terrorism. At this time no one knows where it will lead; we just know that we are up against an implacable enemy dedicated to the destruction of our way of life. Most serious students of military history do not think it will lead to a nation upon nation conflict but decades of Iraq and Afghanistan type military actions. But, it again raises the question of whether peace is so complex that it is beyond humanity’s reach and is merely an invention of the international bourgeois community. Maybe, Thucydides was correct in his analysis and a modern version of his quote would be that “History has shown that peace is merely the interlude between wars?”
Reviewed for C-133 crew members
by Richard Spencer
39th ATS 1962-1965
click on: THE INVENTION OF PEACE
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Beaver Tail Fitting
Thanks to C-133 Crew Chief Erich Hausner for facilitating this final piece. He broke through the "stone wall" to get prints for the tail cone. Boeing couldn't be bothered with old Douglas airplanes, so Erich called some of his contacts, and the lady in charge of the library and a retired engineer who volunteered there went to work and found them. Then a company in Elkton, MD, manufactured the piece.
Whoever cut the original cone off destroyed the stringers, so Sandy made the new ones that provide the necessary support for this exact replica.
On a related note of trivia, Sandy offered a "Did you know?" The CPI and flight deck recorders now required on all commercial aircraft were developed from the very first use on the C-133.
The guys in the following photos are Doc Adams (shorty), Hank Baker (bigger), Rick Vetter the builder (tall slim one), and Sandy Sandstrom (khaki shorts or black jeans/gray hair):
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Beautiful New Model
This picture of a C-133A model came from Chris Mikesh of Nostalgic Plastic, a model mail-order company. The kit is a Nostalgic Plastic 1/144 scale C-133A/B Cargomaster, available from the website. The resin kit contains markings for C-133A 54-0143 ‘State of Delaware’ , 1607th ATW (first C-133A at Dover); C-133A 56-2008, 1607th ATW, Dover AFB (record setting aircraft now at USAF Museum) and C-133B 59-0536, 1501st ATW, Travis AFB (now on display at AMC Museum).Click on this related link to buy one: Anigrand C-133 Kit
50,000 Names Carved in The Wall
Our Tired Air Force
January 16, 2008
AFA members and Congressional Staffers, many of you have commented favorably on the "elevator speech numbers" I sent you.
It's January ... so here are some revealing data on the "State of the Air Force."
Fighter Aircraft - average age: 20 years; average flight hours 5400+
Bomber Aircraft - average age: 32 years; average flight hours 11,400+
Tanker aircraft - average age: 44 years; average flight hours 18,900+
C2 Fleet - average age: 22 years old; average flight hours 32,000
ISR Fleet (excluding UAV) - average age: 30 years old; average flight hours 18,000
Key Groundings/Restrictions
F-15A-D - 163 of 441 are grounded for structural issues
B-52 - 6 are grounded - past due PDM grounding date - authorized a one-time flight to the bone-yard.
EC-130 - 2 of 14 are grounded due to center wing box cracks
C-130E - 3 are grounded and 13 are restricted due to Service life and wing cracks
KC-135Es - 26 of 86 are grounded due to engine strut corrosion.
AC-130U - 4 of 17 are restricted due to lack of 30MM weapons
B-2 - entire fleet is restricted due to windshield bolt hole cracks
C-5s - 39 of 108 are restricted due to crown skin restrictions (weight limiting)
Additionally:
219 of 223 F-15Es have training restrictions due to vertical stab structural issues
Majority of Block 25/30/32, block 40/42, and block 50/52 F-16s need structural modifications
All 356 A-10s will need new wings and new aircraft skin - many have landing gear issues ... and all need new engines.
C-130Hs have Center Wing Box issues
C-32As have bulkhead structural issues.
Looking across the FYDP - between 2008-2013 - the Air Force will divest itself of 749 aircraft and procure only 698 aircraft (260 of which are UAVs).
To give you the idea of the scale of all of this:
- When the AF grounded its 600+ F-15 fleet, it grounded more aircraft than the entire F/A Navy. The F-15s it presently has grounded equate to a bit more than 3 aircraft carriers of aircraft.
- The 356 A-10s that need renovations equates to more aircraft than the fixed wing USMC
- The Air Force has about 5800 aircraft ... and presently about one-third are either grounded or restricted in one way or another
The central important part of this data is that this is not a third-world Air Force ... And the question we should ask ourselves, why don't we fund it to ensure our children and grandchildren are safe and secure?
2nd Subject -
Chief of Staff White Paper - Gen Moseley published an exceptional White Paper ... which lays out the strategic foundations for the Air Force of the future. If you haven't seen it, you can find it on the AFA website: http://dailyreport.afa.org/NR/rdonlyres/868196FC-AABB-4230-84EA-F5358B0C4B34/0/CSAF_white_paper.pdf
My favorite quotes in it are:
- "No modern war has been won without air superiority. No future war will be won without air, space and cyberspace superiority." Page 2.
- "With the oldest inventory in history, battered by 17 years of continuous combat, the Air Force's ability to fulfill its missions is already being tested." Page 2
- "... our reliance on assured access to space will increase exponentially." Page 8
- "The Air Force is smaller in December 2007 than it was in December 1941." Page 10
For your consideration.
Mike
Michael M. Dunn, Lt Gen (Ret)AFA President/CEO
Monday, January 7, 2008
Control Tower, this is MATS Propjet 62002!
Tower: 'Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock , 6 miles!'
Delta 351: 'Give us another hint! We have digital watches!'
*************************************
Tower: 'TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.'
TWA 2341: 'Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?'
Tower: 'Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?'
*************************************
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: 'United 329 heavy, your
traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock , three miles, Eastbound.'
United 329: 'Approach, I've always wanted to say this..I've
got the little Fokker in sight.'
***************************************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked,
'What was your last known position?'
Student: 'When I was number one for takeoff.'
**************************************
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly
long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: 'American 751, make a hard right turn
at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not
able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right
at the lights and return to the airport.'
**************************************
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich
overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): ' Ground, what is our start clearance
time?' Ground (in English): 'If you want an answer you must
speak in English.' Lufthansa (in English): 'I am a German,
flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak
English?'
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British
accent): 'Because you lost the bloody war!'
**********************************
Tower: 'Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure
on frequency 124 7'
Eastern 702: 'Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By
the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal
on the far end of the runway.'
Tower: ' Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702,
contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report
from Eastern 702?'
BR Continental 635: 'Continental 635, cleared for takeoff,
roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... we've already notified
our caterers.'
************************************
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to
hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The
DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past
the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew
got on the radio and said, 'What a cute little plane. Did
you make it all by yourself?'
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came
back with a real zinger: 'I made it out of DC-8 parts.
Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for
another one.'
***************************************
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are
renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one
to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there
without any assistance from them. So it was with some
amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following
exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British
Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: ' Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active
runway.'
Ground: 'Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha
One-Seven.' The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and
slowed to a stop.
Ground: 'Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?'
Speedbird 206: 'Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate
location now.'
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): 'Speedbird 206,
have you not been to Frankfurt before?'
Speedbird 206 (coolly): 'Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark
and I didn't land.'
************************************
While taxiing at London 's Gatwick Airport , the crew of a
US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn
and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female
ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:
'US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to
turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta!
Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the
difference between C and D, but get it right!'
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now
shouting hysterically:'God! Now you've screwed everything
up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right
there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect
progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I
want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you,
and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?'
'Yes, ma'am,' the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell
terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771.
Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller
in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out
around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an
unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone,
asking:
'Wasn't I married to you once?'